SAKAKA, AL-JAWF, SAUDI ARABIA — My dad had just gone to work, while I was left in our apartment with my mom and my two-year-old brother. We had only been in Saudi Arabia for a few days. As she was doing her chores, Mama heard someone knocking and trying to turn the knob on the front door.
When we were still in Pampanga, we lived in apartments wherein the next-door neighbors personally knew each other. We just opened the door to them whenever they dropped by, knowing that we would be safe.
Mama also thought that Papa went back to the apartment because he forgot something. So when my mom heard the knocking, she instinctively opened the door. Lo and behold, she saw an Arab man standing in front of our unit as he held what seemed to be like a dagger.
Terrified, my mom shut the door. She screamed as loudly as she could. She grabbed a knife and herded us to a corner in the living room.
“Dito lang kayo,” she said. “May lalaki sa labas!”
Thankfully, we did not get harmed that day, just like how we made it through unscathed after getting stranded in the Arabian desert. Nevertheless, these experiences shattered any of my tendencies to embrace delusions about diversity, which a lot of third culture kids (TCKs) tend to have.
Indeed, each TCK is different from another. So what are the traits of these cross-cultural kids? To what extent do I exhibit them as an adult TCK?
Although I’m a round peg in a square hole here in the Philippines, I can say that I have a strong Filipino identity overall. Living abroad just made me more realistic about the Philippines’ strengths and weaknesses.
Besides, being a TCK is an inherent part of the Filipino identity. Since the Philippines is multicultural, a great number — if not the vast majority — of Filipinos gained cross-cultural experiences by moving from one province to another within this country when they were kids. That would make them “domestic TCKs”. I, for one, spent many summers in Pampanga as a child because it’s my dad’s native province.
Pampanga has its distinct culture despite its many similarities with Metro Manila, where I grew up. Kapampangan, Pampanga’s language, is very different from the Tagalog in the National Capital Region (NCR). Folk Catholic practices are also more prevalent in Pampanga than in the NCR. When I was 8-9 years old, I often saw many Kapampangans whipping themselves and getting themselves crucified as part of the penitensya during Lent. They survived, thankfully.
As for me, I’m on the Conservative/Reformed Baptist end of the Evangelical spectrum. That’s why I abhor the penitensya. However, I am proud of my fellow Kapampangans’ achievements and excellent culinary skills.
This would be a “yes” and a “no” for me. Being a TCK has made me more open-minded in the sense that I’m tolerant of people even if they think and behave differently from me. I also tend to shun mindsets that will force people to conform to strict practices in areas in which the Bible is neutral. I welcome various foreign influences that can improve the Philippines. Moreover, I’m willing to adhere to the modesty standards of any conservative country that I will visit.
Still, I refuse to embrace pie-in-the-sky beliefs about diversity because I experienced gender and religious discrimination in Saudi Arabia. That made me realize that many cultural values are incompatible with each other. While the Philippines and the West allow Muslims to openly practice Islam, far too many Middle Eastern institutions systematically discriminate against Christians. They are also barbaric towards women and the LGBT community. Unfortunately, they merely reflect the values that are prevalent among the majority of Middle Easterners.
Does this mean that we should ban Arabs from liberal democracies? Does this justify racism? A resounding NO to both! However, we should only accept migrants of any ethnicity if they are willing to assimilate into our liberal democracies’ cultures. This means that they must know our languages at least well enough to get their basic necessities met. They must respect people’s individual liberties because we’re not infringing on theirs. If we make the immigration laws too lenient to be politically correct, we will soon have multitudes of foreigners demanding the state to execute homosexuals.
I do want an international career someday. In fact, my graduate degree is in international health and I’ve volunteered for missions organizations. When I was 20 years old, I helped raise funds for a persecuted church in Odisha, India. I scored high on the Canadian Language Benchmarks for English. My Chinese tutor said that my conversational Mandarin is good enough for me to survive in China as a tourist.
At the same time, my loyalty belongs to the Philippines while I’m a Filipino citizen. Although I’ve complained about my country many times in this blog, I’ve also praised it a lot as I learned to appreciate it more because of my experiences in Saudi Arabia and Canada. I think we Filipinos should do all that we can to cultivate and preserve our positive cultural practices. We should share them with the world because other countries will learn a lot from us. We shouldn’t be guilt-tripped into letting in forces that will undermine our heritage for the sake of political correctness.
(Photo by Hossein Azarbad)
Once again very insightful!!!