In one University of the Philippines (UP) alumni Facebook group, a netizen asked, “If you can give college freshmen advice about the competing ideologies on campus, what will it be?”
I thought back to the kind of freshman that I was. If I can give advice to that version of me, I’ll tell her to seek counseling from wise, competent adults for any psychological issues no matter how trivial they may seem. College life is fraught with many challenges that can expose one’s socio-emotional problems or induce new ones. University students resort to many destructive ways to cope. One of them is by joining abusive groups that seem to offer antidotes to what they’re going through.
Defense Mechanisms
College kids rationalize their memberships in such organizations by stating all sorts of noble and intellectual reasons. The truth is, their conscious reasons are only part of their true rationale. Deep down, they’re also motivated either by legitimate needs or by baser instincts. Those subconscious desires need to be addressed if we are to protect university students from negative peer influence.
For example, a student may justify joining a legal communist front by stating that he’s fighting against inequality. He may be genuinely concerned about the masses’ poverty. He might have become an activist also because he fears that his parents might not have the money to send him to school next semester.
A college freshman may rationalize joining a violent fraternity by telling himself that he believes in that frat’s commitment to excellence. But the truth is that he could be longing for the protection that his family failed to provide.
A student may claim that she’s campaigning for a political candidate because she wants to uplift the oppressed. Deep down, she could be supporting that politician because they come from the same ethnic group which she feels is superior to everyone else.
I, for one, got involved in spiritually abusive friendships. At first, I told myself that I participated in religious activities because I wanted to be pure and spread God’s Word. Those are true to a great extent. However, I also derived my worth from the ministry because I wasn’t the best in class anymore when I got to college. It was hard to accept that the other students were getting higher grades. Consequently, certain religious people used me instead of giving me the nurturance that I needed.
Children, Obey Your Parents
It’s difficult to find competent counselors for addressing psychological issues. A good principle to follow though is that Filipino college students should obey their parents’ directives as long as they are not abusive. Those loving parents may not be able to address every single emotional problem or refute all the arguments in favor of communism. But they have the right to require obedience if they’re paying for their college kids’ tuition and daily expenses. While that sounds corny, the Bible promises that He will bless children who obey parental rules that don’t cause them to do evil (Ephesians 6:1-3). I believe that!
Many college kids grew up in dysfunctional families, unfortunately. To whom then should they seek counseling? We’ll try to answer this in the next article.
(Photo by Yasin Yusuf)
This is truly a very wise counsel Annie especially in these turbulent times when we are living in a world that is quickly turning upside down. You could perhaps make a part 2. : )